


Check All That Apply

by starkind



Series: This Is It Boys, This Is War [3]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), DC Cinematic Universe, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Team Iron Man, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, First Kiss, Getting Together, IronBat - Freeform, M/M, Not The Dark Knight Rises Compliant, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-The Dark Knight, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-07 09:11:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10357044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkind/pseuds/starkind
Summary: What if Tony and Pepper split during/after the events of "Age of Ultron" because of Bruce Wayne? And how do we go from there? (hypothetically that is)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another random fic for this little series! I should be working on my WIPs but I keep on coming back here. Hope you still enjoy :)

“... and then she said 'I think it's best if we end this on a level where we can still look each other in the eyes'. Isn't that something?”  
  
Tony drops the news casually one evening, up in his workshop at Stark Tower. He leaves out the part where she (who namely is Pepper Potts) also tells him it is because he's more emotionally invested in him than in her. 'Him' in this particular case is Bruce Wayne - billionaire extraordinaire from Gotham City - and also known, albeit to a less large audience, as the Dark Knight.

In Tony's opinion, Batman's self-marketing strategy sucks balls, but Tony has long since given up trying to lecture him. So far, Bruce has managed to bring up all of his hometown against him for something he has not even done and refuses to set the record straight. That is partly the reason he has come to hang out in New York with Tony and his tech ever so often in the past months, even after the recent Ultron disaster.

Does that not sound like the perfect recipe for a love triangle disaster? Except no, there is no triangle, especially not now that Pepper is gone, and with Tony fully convinced that he is not invested that way; not really. He and Wayne are just friends who hold frequent tech orgies, now that the 'other Bruce' left to God knows where.

“Ah.”

That is Bruce Wayne lingo for 'I am deeply sorry for your loss, feel free to talk about it some more.' By now, after months of intense studies and many trial and error excursions, Tony speaks 'Bruce Wayne' rather fluently. At present, however, he decides to not talk about it and makes his Gotham counterpart do some more research on his latest project called Binarily Augmented Retro Framing instead.

“So, do you think I'm ready to throw myself out there on the market again, B-boy?”

The look Wayne throws him over the rim of his screen could slice obsidian. Basically, Bruce abhors any which bastardizations of his name, but the fact that it does not elicit anything but a toothy smile from Tony speaks volumes. His arsenal of awful endearments is as usual filled to the brim, and Bruce keeps getting subjected to it without any real counterstrike measures.

Okay, not entirely true. The Gothamite compensates by displaying his superior athletic condition whenever they work out together (at least now that Tony has urged him to take care of that ruptured ACL of his) and by constantly leaving Tony's espresso machine without beans. All in all, it has become a lovely dysfunctional partnership that blossoms between the two of them.

Here is where it is getting complicated, though.

Ever since Pepper has broken up with him because of it, Tony has started looking closer into her theory. Has started looking a lot closer at Bruce Wayne, too, and sees... something more. Something he likes. More than likes, actually. That realization is downright irksome to him. That Pepper should remain right while he himself remains so, so clueless is both scary and a relief. Until...

“After your latest Ultron stunt, you're not exactly public dating material.”

Ho-hum.  
  
Apparently Tony forgot to mention that Bruce Wayne can sometimes (okay, oftentimes) act like a real douche barrel.  
  
It is then that Tony blows all caution to the wind and does the thing. Maybe he should have given out a warning first, he thinks, but then again he is Tony Stark, and fuck playing it by the rules, because in the end he always gets what he wants.  
  
Cue phase one of Tony's new-found project 'Courting Bruce Wayne'.

Their first kiss is more than awkward; mainly because Tony miscalculates the distance and angle to reach Bruce's mouth. What happens is that he ends up scraping his upper lip on those fangs of his. For all their pearly whiteness, they really are that sharp. As he backs away, hissing and cursing his stinging lip, Bruce scowls at him.

“What the hell?!”  
The tip of Tony's tongue probes the cut and tastes a little blood.  
“Yeah, same. Are you part-vampire or something? Ouch!”  
  
The Gothamite still stares at him like he has sprouted a second head, and Tony attempts to shrug, feigning nonchalance.

“Never mind, I was just testing.”

“Testing what?”  
  
“Pepper's theory.”

  
“... Ah.”

  
Okay, maybe Tony needs to go back and re-read that page of his Bruce Wayne Dictionary again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Phase two of 'Courting Bruce Wayne' basically consists of a lot of groveling talk on Tony's part. Except... no, that is not really what it is, because a Stark never grovels. He rather flaps his gums about how being bi is all kinds of rad, and that he cannot wait to get back into the dating scene. Somehow, the seemingly never-ending patience of Bruce _does_ wear thin at some point, because:

“Shut up.”

Says he and seals Tony's mouth with a kiss that swooshes all air out of Tony's lungs. Jackpot. Before Tony gets on a train of thought that spins from choosing the right portmanteau (to which Bruce shoots him down, because 'Truce' is just as bad as 'Brony', and don't even _start_ on anything as ridiculous as IronBat, for Heaven's sake) over to planning the billionaire wedding of the century, life happens.

It has a tendency to strike and interrupt any which brief bout of happiness Tony experiences.

And that is how Bruce Wayne comes to be involved in the battle at Leipzig Airport.

~

Technically, it is their first visit to Europe as a couple, but it is far from sightseeing and trying to read stupid-sounding German street signs. Instead, it is a face-off with Steve and his merry band of ragtag Accord holdouts, some of who Tony has never seen before. Verbal punches get thrown, and it goes up to the point where Tony deems the moment right to raise gauntleted hands to his mouth and call in his secret weapon.

“Batsy.”

He knows he is in deep shit for that one later on. Still, “Batsy” materializes out of nowhere; doing a marvelous job even without the ever-present shadows he usually lurks in. A Batarang lands square within Steve's shield; clue in that the Bat knows how to deal with Vibranium and what to do about it. All hell breaks loose soon after, leaving Batman to take on Captain America and giving zero fucks about him being from Brooklyn.

It is nice that Tony gets to listen in on their gruff and awkward verbal exchange a little bit before he gets buried underneath a pile of cars, thanks to Wanda. What is far from being nice is that when push comes to shove, bad gets even worse. In the end, there are no real winners, only losers. Tony ends up with a lovely labral tear in his left shoulder, together with some trauma to the rotator cuff and pinched nerves to boot. 

His nerves remain on edge when Bruce's grumpier alter ego goes and makes himself scarce once they are back in the US. This is partly due to the fact that the Secretary of the State is cozying up to Tony Stark, but mostly because Bruce Wayne is still paranoid about being exposed as the Caped Crusader. Tony tries to understand but does not, because he thought they had more than a good-till-canceled thing going on.

His worry for Rhodey then overshadows anything else for the moment.

~

Apparently, some things do have a different expiration date than Tony expects them to.

After the big fight in the bunker, where Steve and his psycho buddy demonstrate a perfect two-against-one strategy, it is none other than Bruce Wayne who flies out all the way to Siberia to save Tony's life. Sadly, he cannot save the day, not after Tony now knows all about Steve Rogers' ultimate betrayal. It remains the biggest and ugliest gaping wound inside his heart – one that he does not know how to mend; ever.

Still, Tony is grateful to be rescued from certain death... or he would be, if not for his hypothermic, catatonic state of pain.

Back in New York, in a hospital bed at a secured floor high up Stark Tower, the drugs in Tony's system make him weepy and maudlin once he is semi-coherent. He all but bawls his heart out to the steadfast person by his side, inner child hurting and grieving. Once he is done and a very unsexy, blubbering mess, Bruce's angular features morph into fierce determination. His touch, however, remains gentle on Tony's cold hands.  
  
“I see.”

That is a very dangerous expression in the Bruce Wayne Dictionary. It means 'I am going to take care of this now, and I don't want you to be a part of it whatsoever because it is not going to be pretty'. Maybe Tony is pathetic and petty, but at that very moment, with his ribcage shattered and his lungs bruised (pulmonary contusion, Tony is told. It sounds as awful as it feels), he revels in the Batman's sweet, sweet retaliation.

~

While Bruce is away, Tony begins to heal, from the outside at least. Inside, he is just as bitter, bruised and broken, but at least he has a purpose now. The technology he has created, the one that connects to the brain and transmits its memories onto a screen, is going to help Rhodey walk.

At some point, news from Wakanda roll in.

Bruce's intel is fast and makes Tony's blood boil anew. Apparently, Steve and his precious Bucky have sought shelter in T'Challa's homeland. It feels like another slap in the face, just like that letter and that pathetic excuse for a phone Steve sent. "Give me a week, then I'll have them handed over to the authorities in the States. Any which condition you prefer." Despite the raspy growl over the line, Tony cannot help but smile.

The BWD (Bruce Wayne Dictionary) translates his offer into 'I love you and want to make you feel better'. Instead of flowers or dinner dates, it encompasses beating all people who have done Tony wrong to a pulp. And Tony knows his Dark Knight In Shiny Carbon Kevlar is serious. Romance is truly alive, Tony muses, not without feeling complacent. He muses some more and comes to a very satisfying, mental image.

And yet?

“Don't. Just... don't. It's of no use.”  
Yes, Tony is tired, and not just because of his daily dose of painkillers.  
“Come back home. Please.”

~

Later, when they lay side by side in Tony's bed, Mister Stark will deny he ever said 'please' out loud, and Mister Wayne will deny he complied and headed for Stark Tower instead of Gotham City. It's a trade-off both can live with.

As for the rest?

Some things cannot be solved by turning a blind eye on them or throwing a lot of money around. Things like the Batman being a wanted criminal in his hometown, or Iron Man making a lot of enemies after Ultron and losing a lot of friends during the attempted implementation of the Sokovia Accords. Things like Rhodey's prosthetic prototype not being up to par yet, and things like Pepper Potts going back to openly date again.

Yet, Tony and Bruce keep on working out the kinks; both in their relationship and in the cards either of them has been dealt.  
It is what genius billionaire philanthropists (who have ditched the playboy part) do.  
If his life were a survey asking him what really mattered most to him in the end, Tony would only check one single box.

Trust.  
  


 **THE END**  
  



End file.
